Ireland, bullish and confident in the Stade de France, deserved more. They were the better side over two legs and probably should have sown up the tie before the end of 90 minutes – Robbie Keane and Damien Duff both had clear opportunities to force a French surrender – and negate any controversy. Even before Thierry’s trickery, Shay Given had survived a penalty scare that, from first viewing from my sofa, seemed a certain penalty but, upon reflection and more importantly television replay, appeared to be a dive. Verdict? No penalty (and also no booking for Anelka troublingly).

But what if the ref had pointed to the spot? We’ve certainly all seen them given, we’ve undoubtedly seen vociferous home crowds influence decisions before and we’ve definitely seen the ‘bigger’ teams favoured in qualifying games. Any doubts towards the governing bodies favouritism of the perennial footballing powers was allayed with the seeding of the playoffs, not on the teams qualifying record, but to their quasi-arbitrary FIFA world ranking. In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, Come again?

All of which contributed to the glowing praise from commentators and fans for the referee’s performance through to the first final whistle, a regard only enhanced by his waving away of any French protests when Anelka raced through on goal and was sent flying – apparently by his own imagination rather than any contact.

Then the handball. Referee and linesman unsighted to one of the most blatant hand-to-ball incidents you could imagine – Henry not only handled, he caressed the ball to his foot as if placing it on a tee – and suddenly the ball was in the net, Gallas was veering away in celebration and half the Irish team turned murderous eyes and limbs to the referee.

The simple fact is, football executives have become acceptant that football is an imperfect game. The question of penalty decisions, handballs, added time, sending offs and the old favourite issue of whether the ball has crossed the line congest the airwaves for hours every weekend, detracting from the actual product we all adore so much…football in case you weren’t sure Mr. Blatter.

‘It all evens out over the course of a season.’ Not true. Ask Robbie Keane. Ask Shay Given. Ask Richard Dunne. And this is just one incident in the gross history of either poor or unaided officiating. Refs are better than ever, but the game is so fast, the stakes so high and the media so ferocious that a single error can cost a team millions, a manager his job, a town it’s wealth and a fan his health.

The answer? Well, how about TV replays just on penalty-box decisions? How about goal-line technology? How about the managerial ability to challenge a major decision twice a game, with reference to television evidence? There are numerous options but ostensibly little momentum for change. Football is the largest sport in the world, it should start acting like it.

Ok, rant over. To be fair I was actually quite lenient, should have caught me last week. Not pretty. Regardless, the unfortunate facts are that the soon-to-be-fabled hand of Henry denied Ireland in the extra period and they will not be amongst the 32 teams contesting the World Cup in South Africa. And nor will a number of other European middleweights. With all due respect to Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Costa Rica, New Zealand and Ecuador, the most missed teams at next summer’s spectacular are all on this continent; The Czech Republic, Russia, Sweden, Turkey, Ukraine and Croatia will all join the Irish as envious spectators and we all know how that feels. Doesn’t that list look like a perpetual list of major tournament dark horses? Just saying…

So no Ibrahimovic, no Modric, no Arshavin and no Keane. But here’s a few who will be there; Lampard, Gerrrard, Rooney, Terry, Cole…feels good doesn’t it?

But first, the pesky Champions League….

Debrecen v Liverpool

With Chelsea, United and Arsenal all either assured of qualification or as good as, Liverpool will be the focus of English eyes this week. Well, actually, one eye will be on events at the Ferenc Stadium the other on the Artemio Franchi where Fiorentina attempt to finish off the Reds with victory over Lyon.

Liverpool were comfortable winners over the Hungarians last time out but only managed a single goal, have scored just 3 in 4 games in the Champions League and are without Torres and Babel on Tuesday night. Steven Gerrard, still struggling with a groin injury, will likely play as Bentiez’ charges attempt to maintain their interest in the competition they won in 2005 and were losing finalists in 2007. Of course, they have performed the unlikely/impossible before.

Things are far from rosy for the Reds right now but they should hold up their end of the survival bargain and beat a plucky Debrecen. 2-1 to Liverpool ahead of the Merseyside derby this weekend.

Fiorentina v Lyon

What will Lyon do? Already qualified, the French side sit will be keen to impress after only winning once in their past 5 outings and slipping to third in Ligue 1. In Europe, Lisandro’s late equaliser at home to Liverpool ensured qualification but they will need a result to ensure they remain top of the group entering the final round of games and, with the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Man Utd, Sevilla, Inter and A.C Milan as current group leaders and possible opponents for a second placed team (Bordeaux lead Group A but would not face Lyon in the knockout stages due to their shared nationality), Lyon would be well served in retaining their top rank.

Fiorentina, beaten 1-0 at the Stade Gerland on match day 1, have been inconsistent as of late, beaten 3-2 at home by a resurgent Parma side at the weekend and out of a coveted Champions League qualifying spot. Victory, and with it qualification, for them would be a real fillip ahead of games against both Milan teams over the coming weeks.

La Viola will be tough to beat at home – Sporting Lisbon managed a 1-1 draw there in the qualifying round but Fiorentina have handsomely beaten Liverpool and Debrecen since – but will be feeling the pressures to perform. Lyon, fairly dire against Liverpool, should play better and have much more experience in Europe. I say they keep interesting and hold Fiorentina to a score draw, 1-1.

Barcelona v Inter Milan

Arguably the biggest game of the midweek fixtures as Barca and Inter meet in the Catalan capital with the loser in serious jeopardy of joining the likes of Bayern Munich and Liverpool on the European scrap heap known as the Europa League. Ok, so that’s unconfirmed, but it would be stunning to see 3 of the favourites fall at the formality of the group stage.

The pair drew in Milan but its Barcelona’s defeat at the Nou Camp to Rubin Kazan that makes their position so desperate. Kazan, recently crowned Russian champions, know that victory at home to Dinamo Kiev, themselves still very much in this group, would mean they only need a point in the San Siro on match day 6 to qualify and, in doing so, knock out one of Europe’s super heavyweights.

Inter, very, very late victors in the Ukraine, sit top of Serie A and are in typical Mourinho-driven form; powerful, tactically aware and suffocating. In spite of that, their usual defensive strength has been somewhat suspect as of late. For Barca, they remain unbeaten domestically yet still trail rivals Real by a point. In Europe, their usual free-scoring potency has eluded them; just 3 goals in 4 games and just one in two games against Russian debutants Kazan. And the latest news is that Leo Messi may well miss the game and El Clasico against Real on Sunday night. Could be a bad week for the reigning European Champions.

A draw right? Hmmm probably, but I’d quite like to see Barca steal it and set up a fascinating final group of fixtures in Group F. 1-0 to Barca.

As a society, we are fairly ignorant to the dangers of depression, as suffered by Enke. The common consideration is that depression is a commonplace and short-term complaint that riddles all our lives when things aren’t going our way, or a soft, modern mask to hide behind when we’re demotivated. There may be some truth in that. People will always view there personal issues as the grandest, most severe of disorders. And why wouldn’t they? We are all trapped in our own realm of perspective and understanding. Indeed, in Darwinist terms, a selfish, narcissistic and conceited view of ourselves has probably got us this far as a species but now, in the contemporary world that is over-stocked with erudite media on just about every subject, it appears that this insularity is more of a fallibility of humanity than a strength.

Clinical depression, a medical moniker that depicts a life devoid of joy in every sense and can incorporate such disorders as insomnia and psychosis, is a less accepted term. In the United States, 3.4% of people diagnosed with clinical depression commit suicide.

It can be difficult for us to believe that a professional footballer, a man with fame and fortune and the prospect of playing in a World Cup in a few months – a dream of any football fan – could want to end his own life. What problems does he have? Seriously? The worst day in his life must be better than the best of mine right? Well, that’s not how the brain works. Our problems are all relative to our own experiences – my best day probably felt about as fantastic as yours, my worst just as painful – and, when under the influence of the constant cloud of depression, hope, the bastion of human emotions, can seem forever lost, irrespective of the comforts of everyday life.

Few people in this country may have heard of Robert Enke before his death. Few might remember more than the fact that he jumped in front of a train but, just as with the revelations from Andre Agassi over the past weeks, his loss reveals a much mismanaged and obscured danger within sport and society at large

Robert Enke (1977 -2009) played for, amongst others, Barcelona, Benfica, Fenerbahce and Hannover 96. He was capped 8 times for his country and was part of the German side that lost in the EURO 2008 Final.

Germany’s friendly against Chile this weekend has been cancelled but the weekend is stocked with other sporting highlights:

Football: England v Brazil

The real theatre takes place thousands of miles from Qatar, where a depleted England side face the eternal Champions-in-waiting Brazil. In Greece, Portugal, Russia and Ireland, 8 teams begin to vie for 4 remaining European qualifying spots at next summer’s World Cup with the culmination of almost 18 months of games coming in Ukraine, Bosnia-Hercegovina, Slovenia and France on Wednesday night.

As for the Three Lions, Frank Lampard is the latest member of the original squad to pull out, joining regulars Ferdinand, Gerrard, Ashley Cole, Emile Heskey and David Beckham on the sidelines. Brazil, the favourites for the horizon’s largest spectacle, have seen a couple of withdrawals themselves but still boast as formidable an attacking team as there is in world football. Kaka, Robinho, Luis Fabiano….ring any bells? No Pato but Hulk, the formidable Porto forward, is in line for his first cap.

If there were any doubts as to the value of friendlies, a match-up against arguably the world’s best in foreign climes can only be a positive experience, especially in light of the confidence-building victory over Argentina in Geneva ahead of the 2006 tournament. My money’s on Brazil this time, when it matters not. 2-1.

Rugby Union: England v Argentina

England host the Pumas, twice winners in their last three trips to Twickenham and 3^rd place finishers at the 2007 World Cup, in their penultimate International – they face the Kiwis next weekend – before the start of the 2010 Six nations in February. England, directed by Martin Johnson, have not won the Northern Hemisphere’s premier tournament since 2003 – their longest drought since winning the competition in 1991 after a barren run during the 1980’s – and have looked every part their no. 8 World Ranking in recent fixtures.

Against Australia, a strong defensive performance and stand-out games from Lewis Moody and the returning Jonny Wilkinson couldn’t conceal the lack of ingenuity and creativity from the former World Champions.

The response? Four changes: The marauding no. 8 James Haskell, 35-year old Duncan Bell, Dylan Hartley and Paul Hodgson come in to the side. England’s scrum, without several of it’s integral players, will face a tough challenge against one of the World’s best. They might lose that battle but they win the war, 24-17.

Boxing: Manny Pacquiao v Miguel Cotto

With the fabulous Floyd Mayweather still a large and looming prospect in the pound-for-pound argument, the winner of the winter’s marquee fight will still have to wait for a celebrated confirmation of their ’undisputed’ status. Cotto, the Puerto Rican underdog with his WBO Welterweight title on the line, would struggle to convince in the role of pound-for-pound king; victories over the dangerous Joshua Clottey, the speedy Michael Jennings and modern masters Zab Judah and Shane Mosley, all at Welterweight, have revealed his chin, drive, endurance and persistent power. However, his sole defeat, at the hands of the since disgraced Antonio Margarito, along with his gruelling points win over Clottey, have raised doubts about his pace, consistency and elite status.

Pacquiao, the most exciting and likeable fighter on the planet, can cement his place as the interim p4p champ with a win, another in a succession of fine results following victories over Erik Morales, Marco Antonio Barrera, Juan Marquez, Oscar de la Hoya and, most recently, Ricky Hatton. He is quicker, more dynamic and in better form than his opponent, and should survive his latest test this Saturday night. Pacquiao to win on points, probably by 3 or 4 rounds, and set up a fight with Mayweather in May or June next year.

Anyway, anyway, anyway…the story revolves around, well, music, but more importantly the perspective of the past, future and present, or as we mortals tend to call it, life. The uncertainties, the insecurities, the mistakes and the moments that fill our weeks, months and years are acutely displayed to the extent that it strikes a chord in the viewer. But this isn’t a movie review. No. Well, it kinda is so far but, like most things in my life, it got me thinking about sport. Sad but true. It’s a curse really.

So let’s complete this rather rambling segue; life is only as good as the last few seconds we have had the pleasure or displeasure of experiencing. Fact. When its bad, all the great occasions that have littered our lives are painful reminders of better days. When it’s good, the most regrettable nadirs of our existence are forgotten or even trivialised. One minute we feel like we are worthless, the next, we are rock stars. Oh the fragility of humanity…

So that’s the psychoanalysis, here’s the basic sports translation…what have you done for me lately?

The marriage of the 24/7 media and the corporate nature of modern, professional sports means that the spotlight is so aggressive, so fierce, so blinding that a individual or team can be horrific or heroic all in the space of a single game. Indeed, one bad performance can render the portfolio of prior work virtually worthless – ask the renaissance man himself David Beckham, or current pariah Rio Ferdinand, just don’t ask Michael Owen, he must be pretty sick of it right now.

And the next few days will provide a few more prime examples of the theory that has managers working part-time and lawyers working over-time. Don’t believe me? Read on dear viewer. Come on. If you got past ‘John Cusack’ you can make it to the finish.

In honour of High Fidelity, which is winding to a close, the top 5 sportsmen with something to prove this weekend: David Haye (more to come on that), Joey Porter (It’s an NFL thing), James Hook (starting at full back as the Welsh try to beat New Zealand for the first time in 56 years), Manuel Pellegrino (If Real lose to cross-town rivals Atletico he could be out of a job) and, naturally, Rafa Benitez.

The fixtures:

David Haye v Nikolay Valuev

The former Cruiserweight, current loquacious and aspiring future Heavyweight champion of the world – or ‘David’ – meets the former circus attraction, current WBA Heavyweight title holder and aspiring actor (seriously) – or ‘Goliath’ – in Germany on Saturday night with Haye trying to become the first British heavyweight champ since Lennox Lewis retired in 2003.

Standing in his way, and while doing so probably blocking out the sun, is the 7 foot tall, 22 stone leviathan that makes anyone called ‘big’ John look much more like ‘little’ John. The Russian giant has only ever lost once, a close points defeat to Ruslan Chagaev in 2007, but looked susceptible in beating the 46-year old unretiree Evander Holyfield in Zurich in his last fight.

Haye, a venerable KO specialist, enters the bout as the favourite and has talked a good fight to this point. He has heavy hands but has questionable stamina, can be overaggressive and has been floored a number of times in his career. His opponent – who really should have his name in capitals or something to explain how big he is…VALUEV…there we go – has never been on the floor.

It should be close, it should be brief and there should be a new champion come the final bell. Haye to win by KO in round 4.

Chelsea v Man Utd

United have suffered a dearth of positive results at the home of their main foes over the last couple of years and come into this game 2 points adrift of their Chelsea and with apparent defensive frailties. The Blues have been unstoppable at the Bridge, the class of a seemingly equalized division – not even Portsmouth are as bad as we first thought and the top-4 is as instable as it has been in almost 5 years – and not lost to United at home since 2002. They’ve won every home game to date under Ancelloti while conceding just one goal, in their opening game of the year.

The key to the match? The battle between Didier Drogba and Nemanja Vidic. Vidic has not been the same player since being torched by Fernando Torres at Old Trafford last term, is without mainstay partner Rio Ferdinand and faces arguably the most in-form, dangerous forward in Europe right now.

I like Drogba to win that battle and lead Chelsea to victory. 2-1.

Liverpool v Birmingham

While watching Liverpool’s disheartening and probably disastrous draw in France on Wednesday night, it became clear that Liverpool are three things; A. still a very good team, B. a side devoid of luck and C. the contemporary embodiment of the ‘what have you done for me lately’ culture. Rafa has lead the Reds to 2 Champions League finals (the same as United and one more than Chelsea and Arsenal during the decade), 2^nd place in the Premiership (and only Chelsea and United have won the league during the Spaniard’s tenure) and back into realm of significance of elite world football.

In sport, as in life, a memory is a double edged sword. For now, for this team, a look back at the past should quell the doubters. It wont of course, but it should.November

Liverpool win and, for now, the head-on collision of ‘crisis’ talk in averted. 3-1.

Indeed, the ‘Adrian Mutu’ rule can be applied here. The disgraced and momentarily bankrupt Romanian forward was ‘sacked’ by Chelsea for failing a drugs test for cocaine. Certainly the use of recreational class-A drugs such as coke and crystal meth should be deplored as a terrible example to the billions of young sports fans across the globe that observe the movements and actions of their idols the fact is, as Mutu claimed, everybody is doing it.

Ok, ok, so ‘everybody’ is somewhat of a dangerous stretching of the truth. Not everybody obviously. But, if asked anonymously, I think the world and the press would be stunned by the large number of current athletes that have, at one point or another, taken recreational drugs. One argument is to consider that, as they bear no aid to sporting performance – the dreaded PED’s that have handicapped the legacy of a generation of cyclists, baseball players and various other athletes as well as disarming the validity of their sports – that they should be only treated as a criminal manner and not one punishable within the sporting realm. But that would be naïve. Governing bodies should be Orwellian in the pursuit of drug-takers, in whatever form, as the media presence around athletes in this era dictates that they be held to the highest moral standards. Kids expect politicians to lie, they don’t expect sportsmen to cheat.

Would it be worse for his public image if we discovered that David Beckham/Lebron James/Lewis Hamilton/Roger Federer/Albert Pujols/Tom Brady/Andrew Flintoff/Usain Bolt had taken a performance enhancing drug or a recreational one? Something to ponder in each case.

Drugs are as much a part of sport as any other facet these days. If you were paid £100,000 a week would you not find the vices of women, drugs, drink and gambling? What else is there to do? The NFL mandates that all new players attend the rookie symposium, an event hosted by former professionals to warn players of the potential failings in regard to money, friends, family, injury and temptation. Such a congress may be much valued within other sports.

Hopefully the various authorities act with discretion and temperance in regard to the use of recreational drugs which, while prohibited by law, are a part of society as much as sport. If the individuals themselves don’t have the support structure and moral education to avoid their lure – and the many others available to them – then it is the sports themselves that are as much to blame. God that’s all a bit idealistic huh? It’s early, bear with me.

Back to business.

Arsenal v Tottenham

The North London derby-ometer has almost always swung towards the Gunners since Arsene Wenger’s arrival. Rarely, however, have Spurs had such reason to travel to the home of their cross-town rivals in such positive mood; scoring freely, 5 wins in 7 away games, 4^th in the table and unbeaten in their last 4 games against Arsenal with last year’s amazing 4-4 draw sticking firmly in the memory for Harry Rednkapp’s troops.

But Arsenal have little reason to fear; a place ahead of Spurs in the table with a game in hand, the league’s leading scorers and only beaten on Manchester soil this term – Arsenal have looked imperious at home throughout the 09/10 calendar.

So, goals? Check. Drama? Check. David Bentley? Maybe. Should be a good one. 2-1 Arsenal.

Everton v Aston Villa

The Toffees, after appearing to recover from a disastrous start, all of a sudden find themselves back on their heels; 14^th in the table, no wins in 5 and are merely peering through the glass of European football right now. Even a Liverpool team in mid-seismic disaster find themselves looking far back at Everton right now. Villa, meanwhile, have looked solid and strong since their opening day reverse at home to Wigan and could go into a coveted top-4 spot with a victory on Merseyside this weekend.

Villa score almost two-thirds of their goals in the 1^st half, Everton two-thirds in the 2^nd half. Just thought you should know. Much like that stat, I’ve got an inkling that neither of these teams are going to matter too much when its all said and done at the end of the season. 1-1…ish.

F1: Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

The final Grand Prix of a tumultuous and controversial Formula 1 season takes place in the slightly detached and surreal setting of the United Arab Emirates. It is only fitting, perhaps, that the world’s most glamorous sport should finish its calendar in the world’s richest city and in the sport’s first ever day/night race.

With the title already decided, drivers are vying for air-time for their sponsors, final Championship points and, quite possibly, a seat in a car for next year. Sebastian Vettel, the young German prodigy and winner of three races this term, Rubens Barrichello, the veteran Brazilian, Lewis Hamilton, the disposed champion, and Kimi Raikonnen, soon to be formerly of Ferrari, may have the most to race for in the desert but the neutral might hope that Jensen Button could crown a glorious year with a resounding victory to silence his critics. In the idealistic light of this article, this pundit really hopes so.

Liverpool v Man United

Crisis? Defeat against their fiercest foes would leave Benitez’ boys 10 big points away from United and consign them to their fifth straight defeat. Since mauling Hull 6-1 at the end of last month, Pool have scored only once and seen their domestic and European prospects slip; one more loss and they will have suffered their worst run for 56 years and will officially be playing for fourth.

The team and it’s managers future appear inextricably tied to their two star players. The loss of Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres has exposed the sides lack of attacking options but the pair were both absent when Liverpool defeated United at Anfield in the same fixture last year. Both are doubtful for the game.

The Red Devils could also be without their talismanic forward – Wayne Rooney is struggling with a calf injury – but in Michael Owen and the resurgent Dimitar Berbatov, United have capable alternatives. Man U enter on an 11-match unbeaten run and lead the league.

In the league’s most aggravated game form matters little and, despite United’s strong record at Anfield since the Premier League’s inception and Liverpool’s current plight, the home team win this game 2-1.

West Ham v Arsenal

The Hammers have still yet to win at home in front of their bubble-blowing faithfuls and find themselves in the bottom three. They were slow to start under Zola a year ago and have a squad stacked with England hopefuls (Upson, Cole, Parker, Green, Ashton), England U-21 talent (Hines, Stanislas, Noble, Tomkins) and enigmatic foreign players (far too many to name) but have not won since the opening day.

While West Ham have quietly slipped into the relegation zone, the Gunners have quietly mounted a title challenge; they trail United by four points with a game in hand and have won their last four on the bounce. The returning Tomas Rosicky, the impudent Andrei Arshavin and the imperious Cesc Fabregas form a dazzling creative pivot behind Robin Van Persie – arguably the most technically gifted footballer in the country (if you don’t believe me watch his strike against Birmingham last week or rewind to his volley against Charlton a couple of years ago) – and have made Arsenal the league’s top scorers by a distance.

Arsenal continue to surge, West Ham continue to suffer. The Gunners win 3-1.

NFL: New England Patriots v Tampa Bay Buccaneers

It’s back; the game of power, intensity, drama and cheerleaders returns to these shores as part of the NFL’s International Series and explodes onto British TV screens on Sunday afternoon. The game features three-time Superbowl winners and all-decade team the New England Patriots and one-time champions but currently bottom-feeding Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Glazers other sports pet.

The Patriots epoch seemed destined to end with Bernard Pollard’s ill-timed tackle on superstar and snappy-dressed QB Tom Brady – husband of supermodel Gisele Bundchen – in the opening game of the 2008 season, causing their star player to miss the entire year and the team to miss the playoffs for the first time since 2002 (despite the emergence of Matt Cassel and an 11-5 record). Brady ruptured his ACL and, until last week’s 59-0 demolition of the Titans, still looked troubled and slowed by the injury but has driven the Pats to a 4-2 record and the lead in the AFC East.

Life for the Bucs and first-time NFL Head Coach Raheem Morris has been much more challenging; a lack of identity on offence and talent on defence have seen them yet to win a game and look well out of their depth. They recently traded former 1^st round pick Gaines Adams to the Bears for a 2^nd round draft choice as they look to rebuild for the future and have their most recent top draft selection, QB Josh Freeman, waiting in the wings.

New England win in England as Brady and co. are relatively untested. 28-7.

Rio, JT, Coley, Bazza, Lamps, Stevie G and Wazza appear to be the only dead certs for South Africa. Sorry, how very Steve McClaren of me…still can’t quite get the taste of him out of my mouth. God that sentence sounded a lot better in my head… Still, he’s not doing a bad job at FC Twente and it’s not as though there were any standout candidates for the role at the time and….I digress.

So, here’s to you James Milner, Ben Foster, Carlton Cole, Michael Carrick and the rest: What can you do to force your way into the 23-man squad for the 2010 World Cup? Go on, impress me. Play out of your mind! Score a goal! Throw a pie! Whatever! The clock is ticking…

Aston Villa v Chelsea

The likely home of Capello for this Saturday afternoon; both teams boast a number of England hopefuls but, unfortunately for Villa, their contingent are far more likely to be sweating come squad-announcement time. Emile Heskey needs more first team football, Ashley Young needs to recapture his form of last season and Stewart Downing needs to get fit. It’s only a broken foot man! In my day….

Chelsea have won 10 of 11 this season and are coming off their biggest win to date, a methodical win over rivals Liverpool. 11 from 12? Yup. 2-0 to the Blues.

Sunderland v Liverpool

Should Sunderland win this fixture, they’ll move above the Reds in the table, and in Kenwyne Jones and Darren Bent have one of the league’s most dangerous front pairings; Bent, renewed with confidence, has 7 goals, 6 in the first half, while Jones has 5, 4 in the second half. Good stat that.

Liverpool have not struggled to hit the net themselves with only Arsenal scoring more in the Premiership. Their concerns appear to be at the other end of the field where Jamie Carragher and Martin Skrtel have reneged on their commitment to quality and endeavour. Torres and Gerrard, Liverpool’s finest, will both miss the game.

Sunderland have signed Bolo Zenden? Really? The things you learn…

Got to hide behind the agnostic shelter of a draw here. 1-1in Wearside.

Portsmouth v Tottenham

The International hiatus could not have come at a worse time for Pompey – they’d just won a game for the love of God! They still have yet to break their home duck but can now call upon the experience and grizzly features of Avram Grant as well as a squad that will surely be more confident from victory and congealed through time after being thrown together at the last-minute like a Halloween costume for that party I completely forgot about. It’s not even Halloween for two whole weeks! Give me a break!

As for Spurs, well, they just like scoring goals – 29 in 10 competitive games to date – and they will add to that on Saturday. And they’ll win too. I think. 3-1? Yeah, why not.

England v Ukraine

The Three Lions will play a full-strength side on their trip to the Ukraine with only Joleon Lescott and Paul Robinson unavailable. Eight wins from eight games have seen England already qualify for the finals in South Africa next year and the nation buoyed by the quality and ruthless nature of the performances. The 5-1 victory over Croatia was the latest highlight of the Capello era.

The team and manager could be forgiven for relaxing and experimenting in both their remaining games but that would not follow the Capello mantra; professionalism, discipline and execution. He will expect to win the game.

That will be no mean feat. Ukraine are unbeaten at home in the qualifying stages while conceding just the one goal. They know that victory over England, who they troubled at Wembley back in April, will leave them ahead of Croatia in the table with only Andorra to play. The bulk of the squad are prized from Dnipro, Shakhtar and Dynamo Kiev with only Liverpool’s Andrei Voronin and Bayern Munich’s Anatoliy Tymoschuk playing their football abroad. Andrei Shevchenko, formally of Chelsea and more notably AC Milan, will captain the side but is a waning power. Artem Milevskiy, a tall and creative forward, might prove to the biggest threat to England’s 100% record.
England might just lack a little motivation and comfort in Ukraine and get held 1-1.

Ireland v Italy

Now now, let’s not get too excited. Even if Ireland beat Italy at Croke Park they would still be relying on the Azzuri to drop points at home to Cyprus if they were to win the group and the (almost) assured playoff spot comes with it the intimidating challenge of France, Croatia, Portugal, Russia or some such European heavyweight down the line. Giovanni Trappatoni, manager of Italy between 2000 and 2004, will be familiar with a number of Marcello Lippi’s squad; Andrea Pirlo, Gennaro Gattuso, Fabio Cannavaro, Gianluca Zambrotta and Gianluigi Buffon all featured in either the 2002 World Cup or EURO 2004 under Trap and are all still integral to the Italians ambitions next summer.

Italy have hardly looked impressive in their qualifying campaign or the Confederations Cup (the 3-0 defeat to Brazil might be as low a point in the team’s recent history) but that is rarely their way. Ireland stole a point at the Stadio San Nicola, thanks to a debatable third minute sending off and a late Robbie Keane equaliser, but have not exactly terrorized the likes of Montenegro, Cyprus and Georgia in qualifying either. Indeed neither of these teams have scored more than 2 goals in any group fixture.

Two Italian coaches. One point suiting both teams. One likely result. 0-0 draw.

Other fixtures

This is the sharp end of qualifying and there are several key games across Europe that will define the immediate futures and holiday plans for some of continent’s finest.

Denmark host Sweden with victory guaranteeing the Danes passage to South Africa while the Swedes need a point to hold off the charging Portuguese. They play Hungary at home later in the evening knowing anything but a win will likely see Ronaldo et al working on their tans rather than skills next year.

Greece and Latvia meet for a chance to be the probable playoff representatives from Group 2, Poland travel to the Czech Republic in a virtual knockout game in Group 3 and Germany and Russia battle for automatic qualification from Group 4.

Screw it, I might as well just delineate the entire picture by predicting every single result . I can do that. I can! Don’t believe me? Hah! Here we go…

Denmark 1-1 Sweden
Portugal 2-1 Hungary
Luxembourg 0-3 Switzerland
Israel 2-0 Moldova
Greece 2-1 Latvia
Slovakia 2-2 Slovenia
Czech Republic 2-1 Poland
Finland 0-0 Wales
Russia 1-1 Germany
Liechtenstein 1-1 Azerbaijan
Estonia 1-3 Bosnia-Hercegovina
Belgium 1-2 Turkey
Armenia 0-5 Spain
Belarus 2-1 Kazakhstan
Serbia 1-0 Romania
Austria 2-1 Lithuania
France 4-0 Faroe Islands
Montenegro 0-0 Georgia
Cyprus 0-1 Bulgaria
Or something like that.

So, thank god 6 weeks have almost passed.

This week’s Premiership fixtures will stamp some authority on the early season verdicts. Are Portsmouth already doomed for the drop? Can anybody win at Turf Moor? Are West Ham ‘too good’ to go down? Is Craig Bellamy misunderstood? Is Darren Bent a better finisher than Harry Redknapp’s grandmother?

Man United v Sunderland

Teacher and pupil collide at Old Trafford. Ok, collide might be overstating the animosity of the relationship between Alex Ferguson and former United centre-back Steve Bruce or the importance of the tie but this is a preview! Get excited!

Mr D Bent, he of the 6 goals in 7 league games, will carry the torch alongside less prolific but far more exciting Mr K Jones, Kenwyne to his friends. United have won 10 and draw 2 of their past 12 home games in all competitions and have slowly evolved as the season has with new boys Valencia and Owen have settled and old boys Giggs and Scholes have surged.

Is Nani the most frustrating player in the league? Do you think he cooks a great meal and then drops it as he carries it to the table? Or perhaps charms the pants off a girl only to put them back on before getting a taxi home alone? End product kid, that’s what it’s all about.

United win, Sunderland lose, Berbatov scores? Anything could happen. 2-0 to Bruce’s old team.

Chelsea v Liverpool

The second meeting of big-4 monopolisers comes a week after Chelsea’s first setback of the year and Liverpool’s most resounding victory. Then again the Blues won their European tie while the Reds got beat. Does form really matter? If it doesn’t then past history probably won’t either although it is worth remembering that it was Liverpool that ended Chelsea’s long, long, Wimbledon-long-ball long undefeated home record with their victory at the Bridge last October. They also helped shift Luiz Felipe Scolari by defeating them at Anfield 2-0 in February.

Chelsea were poor versus Wigan. More than poor, they made Wigan look very, very good and the Latics were dispatched with ease by Arsenal and Man Utd in recent encounters. Liverpool have their own concerns; they were desperately slow starters in Florence on Tuesday night, have been vulnerable defensively all season and seem far less confident without the departed Xabi Alonso and the injured and under performing Javier Mascherano.

Drogba v Torres, Lampard v Gerrard, Terry v Carragher, Cech v Reina, Essien v Mascherano. The guess would be that such stars cancel each other out but Chelsea, at home and more consistent, should be favoured. 2-1 to the Blues.

Aston Villa v Man City

This must be like a cup final for ESPN’s Monday night broadcast. With apologies to Spurs and Everton, Villa and City may be the two most likely invaders of those coveted, over-promoted Champions League spots and have both won 4 of their last 5 in the Premiership.

While both teams managed a home victory in the 08/09 campaign, City have prospered and progressed far more since last season ended. Adebayor, Tevez, Lescott, Santa Cruz and former Villain Gareth Barry have headed to the City of Manchester Stadium. Headed to Birmingham? Promising yet untested Fabian Delph, James Collins, Habib Beye and former City defender Richard Dunne. You may have noticed I’ve missed out England hopefuls Stewart Downing and Stephen Warnock but I’m making a point.

City have only been beaten the once so far – the wild Manchester Derby if you recall – and, that game and moments against Arsenal aside, have looked the part of a top tier side. Aston Villa have been more susceptible; defeats to Wigan and Blackburn have undermined a strong start.

Martin Petrov is back, Craig Bellamy is playing as well as he may have ever, Santa Cruz is back, Tevez looks pretty decent, the defence is stable…so…City to win? Possible, but I’ll shelter under the prediction of a draw. 1-1.

Ok, before I break out into song, let’s set this down on paper, I’m talking about the Championship. No players on 100k a week, no European distractions, no autobiographies written by 21 year olds, no Didier Drogba, no Craig Bellamy, no Ashley Cole, no El-Hadji Diouf…just Joey Barton then.

The second tier of English football is one of the richest and most watched in Europe. The playoff final at Wembley may be the richest game in world sport and the division is bursting with quality, young, English talent. And Sola Ameobi. And Michael Chopra. And Neil Warnock. And Ian Holloway. See why I’m galvanised by all this?

West Brom v Crystal Palace

The Baggies are coming off a 5-0 mauling of Middlesbrough and find themselves in their accustomed position when they vacation at this level; top after 8 games, leading scorers and only held by fellow promotion hankerers Newcastle and Sheffield Utd. Roberto Di Matteo’s team have notched 26 goals in their 11 games this season, only shut out by Arsenal in the Carling Cup during the week, and have seen 11 different players hit the back of the net.

More was expected of their upcoming opponents Crystal Palace. Neil Warnock’s side have some of the most promising young players outside the top flight – Victor Moses and Sean Scannell in particular – in addition to a core group of players well accomplished at this level. The Eagles have been terribly inconsistent; victories over Ipswich and Derby have been tempered by deflating reversals, most notably 4-0 at home to Scunthorpe.

Surely West Brom have too much, flair, firepower and momentum to be unseated by the Londoners. Palace will surprise a few top teams this season but not on Saturday. 2-0 to West Brom.

QPR v Barnsley

Most of the attention will be on disgraced former F1 mogul Flavio Briatore, the QPR Chairman currently under review by the Football League. On the field, Rangers, at home, will be favourites having not lost in 9 straight home league games and have a 19-game unbeaten record against Barnsley at Loftus Road.

Barnsley have resurrected their season after appointing Mark Robins and knocked Burnley out of the Carling Cup in their most recent fixture. Robins was quick to snap up 3 new defenders in the last week, including Slovenian International Suad Filekovic but their immediate concerns may lay at the other end of the field; just 6 goals in 8 games, including 5 goalless outings, while QPR have one of the meanest defences in the division with just 5 goals conceded in 7 games.

Jim Magilton’s side should record their first home win this weekend. The Tykes are a tougher proposition than they were a couple of weeks ago but QPR have more in the attacking third and should be able to make possession pay. 1-0 QPR.

Ipswich v Newcastle

Two former Premiership teams and preseason promotion contenders collide at Portman road. Chris Hughton has lead the Magpies to 2nd in the table and has stabilised a club that appeared to be in disarray over the summer; 5 clean sheets and the league’s best defensive record have helped restore confidence to a group that, lest we forget, are stamped with Premiership experience and quality.
Ipswich, on the other hand, are close to dipping into disorder; another defeat would ensure their worst ever start to a Football League season. The Tractor boys have still yet to win this year, have conceded 20 goals in their 10 games in all competitions and trail Newcastle, and therefore an automatic promotion place, by 15 points already.
Both teams were formerly, famously, managed by Sir Bobby Robson, indeed he was the Geordie manager the last time these two teams met; a 2-2 draw in the Premiership 7 years ago. Another draw wouldn’t be ideal for either side but could be the most likely outcome on Saturday. 1-1 at Portman Road.

Nota Bene. If you do still crave some Premiership picks, then here you go: Wins for Sunderland, Chelsea, Spurs, Man Utd, Everton and Liverpool, draws at St. Andrews, Craven Cottage and Ewood Park.
And England to lose the Cricket.